So I figured I should probably catch you up on the things that are going on because I keep posting cryptic little messages with not very much detail.

Because honestly, at this point, I’m more amused than anything else.

Ok… where to start, where to start.

You know the basics of how I met the cop and how our first date when and all that boring shit… so I’ll skip through to the break up and the drama around it.

My birthday is October 4th. It’s no secret. I’ve always had this tiny fear of Sixteen Candles happening to me so I always go, o”h hey, my birthday’s coming up” and drop hints for probably a month in advance.

So there is straight up no excuse whatsoever for the cop “forgetting” to call/text/email/facebook/carrier pigeon me at all. She totally ignored me the whole day.

Her excuse? She was in Japan assassinating someone and she “missed her target and was in a shitload of trouble”

Um, yeah… ok. I’m done.

At that point, I called it off for good, there had already been so many signs of her having a few too many issues for me to handle alone. It hurt me to say goodbye to her because I had all of this emotion that I had to give to her but she just blew it off… but I had to do it.

Anyway… some time passed and I realized who I had in my life that was worth it. My family. Derby girls. Kat. Blue Eyes. etc.. you get the point.

So something happened in the middle of October, it was almost two weeks after I said goodbye to the cop. I didn’t post much on it because it would have been me throwing the news out there when we were trying to contain it all. Here are two screen caps of the story:

Obviously I’m not going to comment on who was being stalked, but I was one of the people involved and injured. The man that was there is behind bars now and whatnot but for some reason, that night… I called the cop.

I flat out begged her to come and be with me because I was flat out shell shocked. I had never been in a situation like that night and I was scarred.

Now, the cop had claimed that she had spoken to an officer that was on scene and he told her that it was not a big deal. Now, it was a huge deal, and the cops that were on scene were very protective of us and made sure we were safe and helped us out when we had to go to the police station afterwards.

So obviously she was pulling stuff out of her ass and trying to make me feel like the situation wasn’t as big a deal as I was making it out to be.

Um, hello…

Before hand, I made sure to call my mom, my brother and kat, just in case anything was said on facebook I didn’t want them to worry about me. I had seen Blue Eyes that night and she saw the massive swelling to my eye and the ice pack I was rocking.

Everyone except the cop was totally understanding. The cop was flat out telling me that I was crazy for making a big deal out of the traumatic situation.

What the fuck.

Oh, and to top it off, I got a call from C, apparently her mother saw something in the newspaper about it and said something to her and we had a good hour and a half conversation where we caught up. That was actually kinda nice. Nothing came of it… we said we were going to have dinner when she was in the area again and we never ended up doing that. Which is fine. I’m not sure I would really want to at this point. But it was nice to catch up.

Anyway, back to the story.

The guy did end up in jail and we’re totally fine as a league, we’ve protect our own. End of story.

So some time passed and in November I had a test come back with some bad results to it so I needed to go in for further testing. I hate doctors so this was a shitty, scary situation for me.

Turned out, I needed to have surgery and it was really rough for me. I don’t like to air out my medical history online because once I start obsessing about a situation then I panic and that’s no bueno.

So anyway, the procedure comes and it goes well, I came out of anesthesia and apparently almost punched a nurse because I was so disoriented… Yeah, awesome.

Anyway, the doctor says to me, straight up, “the tissue that we removed was a little bit bigger than we would have liked, so we need to send it in to test to make sure its not cancer.”

Jaw drop.

Um, what? I wasn’t prepared for that.

What the fuck.

So I basically sat there for a straight week thinking, oh my god, I have cancer. How am I supposed to handle this?

That was the longest week of my life. I barely ate at all and I couldn’t sleep… I was up most of the time just thinking, oh my god, I’m going to die.

I couldn’t skate for probably a month so I had a lot of time missed and was getting very depressed. Everything felt like it was crashing around me.

It wasn’t a better time but I tried to remain positive.

Anyway, finally, the time comes when I have to find out the information and obviously by a post I put up that day, I didn’t have cancer. I have to do frequent blood tests and what not to make sure I’m still ok and that it’s still nothing to worry about… which is daunting to think that it could maybe go from ok to not ok in a day.

But whatever. I’m here now, I’m living my life and I’m doing just fine.

Anyway, that was the same night as the derby holiday party and I was less than thrilled to go. I tried as hard as possible to plaster the smile on my face but I just couldn’t do it and I was visibly depressed. I didn’t wanna bring anyone down so I called the girl I was talking to at the time and she came and got me (I had been drinking) and we hung out and talked.

Now, I had seen a few girls between the time of the cop and now… I had not slept with any of them for fear that sex equaled some kind of crazy switch (i know, it’s sort of silly, but come on)

So I made it through the holidays on my own. It was a very low key year for my family, so it was a little easier than other years.

Then the stomach thing happened.

I went to practice the week after Christmas and was back on skates. Everything seemed fine. My crossovers were good and they didn’t hurt. I didn’t want to take a hit on the left side because I still had some slight pain from the procedure so I just did some speed skating drills and hopping on my left side to see how strong the situation was.

My lovely team started scrimmaging because we had our bout season to plan for so I stayed in the middle with the refs and helped time. That’s where I started to feel funny.

I felt like my face was really hot and the rest of me was ice cold. I figured it was just because I was a little sweaty and stopped skating for a bit so I moved around a little to keep the blood flowing.

Then the pain in my stomach started.

Ok, not good.

I left to go to work and the pain increased exponentially on the drive to work. By the time I actually got to work, I was very weak and dizzy. I took a quick shower, holding myself up with the shower wall and got some stuff done.

I sat down at one point and had a horrible urge to throw up.

I got very very sick at that point. I NEVER call in sick to work and I never leave work early and I had to do both… I left work a few hours into my shift and couldn’t go in the next day.

It was awful.

So I went to the hospital to se
e what was up… turns out I had an ulcer and it needed to be treated.

Um, awesome.

Happy New Year to me… I’d be spending it in a hospital… no kiss at midnight… no fanfare.

Just me, sleeping off the pain. Great new years.

Anyway, started the year off with a crap load of work and no time to sleep. There were two weeks where I got maybe 20 hours of sleep the whole week and worked somewhere around 70 hours…

It was not pleasant.

So the bout season started up and my hip was ok to skate and thankfully my team wasn’t playing so I didn’t need to worry about getting checked and destroying all the healing… so that was good.

I wasn’t give a typical bout job like last season and so I decided that it was going to be a good bout and I would just kick back and watch my girls do their thing.

Wrong.

The guy that normally dresses up as a mascot was going out of town and since it was our season opener I decided to step into the crazy role of mascot. I had (I say had because I didn’t really give her a choice before I said she’d do it, bought her some stuff to wear and texted her probably 70 messages worth of nonsense) Daikini dress up with me so that each team playing would have a mascot.

I was the mascot for the Capital City Legislayers (basically black booty shorts, a white button down, a red tie and a black Alicia Keys pimp hat… lawyer look I guess… hey, I got a sword, what more do you want) and she was the mascot for the Empire Skate Troopers (a police uniform and she just HAD to have a mustache… I think she digs them, Idk)

It was really fun. We had to pose for a bunch of pictures with little kids and we had play fights and just acted really silly over all.

Now, I should go back a few days… The bout was Saturday… Thursday night I went out on a date with a very nice girl and we had a good time. We went to dinner and talked and seemed to click.

I feel like I shouldn’t give this girl a nickname soo… for the next few paragraphs I’ll be talking about her.

She is actually an amazing person and I’d give just about anything to date her on the real. I had a lot in common with her and really felt like there was a strong possibility of something actually coming of it.

Obviously, I managed to screw that up already, but I’ll get to that later.

Anyway, she and a friend came to the bout and the after party and I ended up basically being a dork and saying to anyone that would listen that I liked her a lot and wanted to date her. I know, I’m that girl.

We had a discussion and agreed to take things back a few steps and basically start over.

Thankfully.

I was supposed to hang out with her the next Friday but where she works, during the part of the year… she’s lucky to have weekends free at all and ended up working really late so we rescheduled.

That’s when I decided to go on facebook and see who else was around, maybe go out for drinks with some of the derby girls. Nothing huge.

Then I see a friend request from the cop. No way, nuh uh. Deny.

A couple of hours later, she emails me. I brush her off and say I’m not interested. Then she starts to apologize. Now, by this point, I had a few glasses of wine and was feeling like my filter was off so I unleashed on her.

A lot of “how could you do what you did” and “how can you be like that” and the like.

I got the following two responses from her that basically broadsided me.

woah.. what? Um, excuse me?

Then this wave of forgiveness comes over me. She had been wearing me down for hours by this point and I just didn’t want to argue with her anymore. So I gave in.

I balked a little, I had plans the next night to go to the hellions derby and then to see scooter pie. I told her if she could manage earlier, then fine. But not to fuck up the one chance I was giving her, because that would be all there was.

So the next day comes and I was feeling very manic.. I haven’t felt the way I did in years… since starting medication to curb my anger. So I stayed in control of things by cleaning… my apartment has never been so clean. You could really eat off the floors right now.. it’s a little scary how clean the place was.

Keep in mind I’m constantly texting both Kat and Blue Eyes and they were both rather hesitant about the situation but I tried to remain as calm as possible.

So the time came and passed, and no cop.

Big huge surprise there. I stayed in that night instead of going to the hellions bout because I was pretty annoyed that I had even given her that much of a chance.

So the next day, I get some information that she and her boyfriend just broke up Friday night. Now, I don’t mind that she was dating a guy (it seemed rather odd to me because she basically made fun of me every time we would talk about past relationships and she’d say something about how I had dated guys), but I did mind being a rebound.

So I decided to confront her.

I knew where she would be at that moment so I drove there and walked in. I let her finish a conversation she was having and she turned on her heel to see if I wanted anything and then took the few steps back like I shocked her.

Now, I’m not one for fighting or anything, but I know when a confrontation needs to happen. And it needed to happen.

I flat out told her to lose my number. She backpedaled again and again, trying to get me to break. I let her talk.

Finally she finished and I just looked at her and very calmly said to her, “You almost killed me. why would I ever let you do that again?”

I left soon after and went to work.

Not much happened until the next day.

I posted a blog about hoping that one day I’d learn… and there is someone that commented on it.

This is the tricky part.

This girl said she was in a similar situation and then mentions that shes from the same area I’m from.

Ok, ironic.

Now, wouldn’t it be funny if it was the same person….

Turns out, through email.. we learned that it was in fact the cop that played us both. Gave us the exact same lines. The email this girl wrote me had me staring in disbelief because it was word for word exactly what I had gone through with the cop.

So the last bit of contact I ever had with the cop was at 4am yesterday.

This is the conversation we had (I can’t figure out how to screen cap on my phone because it’s being stupid and saying my phone needs to be rooted and I have no clue how to do that at 3am)

Me: Just wanted you to know that (name removed) go in touch with me though my blog, we were complaining about women who’ve hurt us… turns out it’s not all women, it’s just you. You’re sad and pathetic. I can’t believe I dealt with this trash
Her: trash?????? really? ok…. gook luck driving through Schenectady….
Me: you are a liar. I honesty cannot believe I was so blind. “good luck driving through Schenectady?” yeah, real scared seeing as you’re not even a cop. I feel sad for you, very sad.
Her: Ok
Me: the best thing ab
out this is we both keep blogs, so you’re caught. there are so many stories that are identical if not totally familiar. you’re caught and it’s sad. I hope you think about getting help.
Me: Please get help. Too bad too, realizing it now I never really knew you. What a waste of emotion for a fake person
Her: lol
Me: it must be pretty funny for you. How many people have you played like this?
Her: tons
Me: You’re really insane. I feel bad for you. one day, please get help. I’m not sure how someone could get in your position and mental status but seriously, get help. Honestly, I don’t hate you for any of this You probably aren’t in control of what you’re doing. I just feel sorry. Good luck in life. You’re going to need it.
Her: you’re the one who made me start liking guys again… So thanks lol… Now my family will accept me. They love you for that.
Me: You lie as much to your family as you do others. You family was a great group of people and I respect them. Maybe if you were honest about anything in your life you would realize how much damage you do. And who cares if you like guys? That has never been an issue when I date a bisexual girl. Like who you want to like, just stop lying.
Her: You don’t know the real me, and I guess you never will. I’m happy and I have a job and friends all around me.
Me: I wish nothing but the best for you. Just learn to actually let people see the real you. I’m sure she’s a great person, would have liked to have met her.
Her: You just like to play games.
Me: Games? I’ve been nothing but caring to you and your family. I loved you and you played me. I stood up for you so many times.. it’s just disappointing. Take care of yourself. Goodbye.

And there has been no response since. Thankfully. And I know how it looks but I actually didn’t mean to bait her into anything. I wanted closure and I wanted her to understand that she is a hurtful person. Hopefully she got it… but with her, who really knows.

Thanks for reading