so if you haven’t guessed it, we’re going back to New York for the holidays…
I’ll check messages and whatnot from home but hopefully it will snow and we can go sleigh ridding… woo hoo
all for now
peace
mama i’m comin home
Reply
woo hoo
First, dont read what I wrote yesterday.
Second i got a job offer and I start on the second. Woo hoo, i was bouncing all over in the front of the apartment.
all for now
peace
I can’t stand it when
You go on an interview and the person that you’re meeting with is all gung ho and is like, yea I’ll call you tomorrow to set up another interview to meet with a higher up… then no call… fucking annoying.
all for now
peace
interesting email/job interview/my computers back
So I got this strange email today. It seems that my crazy ex’s new girlfriend is asking for help.
So she asks me what really happened in the relationship because “i can’t believe what she says anymore. She lies a lot.” Ok, so I think about it.
This could be a simply a girl asking for help. Or, this could be her strange obsession with me, trying to hurt me. I went with the first, and helped her out.
I stayed very neutral, none of the “she beat the shit out of me, cheated on me, lied about it, and stole money from me” nonsense. Even tho all that is true, I have a hard time placing my issues in a relationship on another person. Oh well.
I still dunno if that was my ex, or if it really was the new girlfriend. Either or, I guess I really don’t care anymore.
I FINALLY got my desktop back from Best Buy. Its not like they had it for two frickin months or anything. So, tonight I’m gonna try and reorganize everything and get settled again. Phew…
My interview today went very well. I’m actually somewhat interested in becoming a CPA, I mean, the money is really good. So, we’ll see if they offer me the job. Cross your fingers for me.
all for now
peace
the purple elephant
C’s company Christmas party was last night.
It made me upset because I had found out that she had not told everyone that she worked with that we were together. Then I became completely scared out of my mind because I haven’t graduated college yet and I’d be in a room full of doctors.
I’m not quite sure if you’d consider what I felt as “performance anxiety” or just me being a dramatic fool.
Anyways, we finally stop being idiots, get dressed and go. We walk in, (C by the way looked absolutely amazing, I love when she gets dressed up and does her hair a certain way, reminds me of when we first met, I guess) and it felt like the entire room was just talking about us and a kind of hush fell over the room. I was the purple elephant, always getting random looks and then the flushed “turn away, don’t look at the lesbian” glances.
The funny thing was, the owner of C’s company, whose name I couldn’t care to remember, sits down at the table we’re at and looks me straight in the face and says “I don’t know you.” Now, I’m not going to make fun of this woman, but if you have any shred of familiarity with business etiquette, you don’t barge into a conversation just because you’re the owner and demand to know who someone’s date is
But I digress
It was fun, C and her coworker decided that they wanted to go someplace else, so we left and went to Chiq, which had, for some reason, an early Last Call. We went a few doors down to another bar. We played some pool and decided to go home…lets just say we had a good night.
I’m going to do some writing
all for now
peace
the kiss that changed my life
Notting Hill is on, and its close to Christmas, and I’m feeling nostalgic and C is at work so I’m moping a bit. So here is the story of C and I’s first meeting/kiss:
So, background story first. Most of you know this, I had a girlfriend for a while that used me. She lied, cheated, stole from me, smacked me around, and treated me like garbage. So one day, I finally give up and dumped the bitch. A few days later I wrote a blog about how much better off I felt in the long run and how I really felt like now I was free to do whatever I wanted. I think I mentioned something about moving to Florida in this blog as well.
So the next day, I check my MySpace and I see I have a response from some girl. Her main profile picture shows her to be very good looking. She wrote:
I hope you are feeling/doing better. I really feel for you and you actually had me worried even though we don’t know each other yet. If you need someone to talk to, please give me a call (def not putting my hot girlfriend’s phone number in this blog, nice try though) or email me. I’m kind of in a dilemma of my own that I can’t really talk to anybody about either.
So I’d like to get to know you better. Do you work at the Gold’s gym in clifton park? I’m only about 20 mins or so from clifton park.
What are you doing this evening?!
I have an AIM screen name is that is easier
Talk to you soon!!……Smile 
)
So I marinated with the idea of it for a while. I mean, I hadn’t been out in a long time and I need a night with a normal person, and what’s more normal then meeting a girl on MySpace and talking. So I sent her a message on Aim and we talked for a little while. Then she suggested we go grab a drink. Why not?
So we meet at Ruby Tuesdays in crossgates mall. We grab a few drinks, and talk a bit. At some point, two girls walked in and I recognized them from WaterWorks. Lets just be nice about this and say that they were a little on the heavy side. We both kinda looked at each other and giggled a little bit.
Around that time one of the people I used to know/be friends with called and said come over we’re having a party. So whatever, we decided to try and find their ghetto ass apartment and go have a few drinks.
So we get there and go outside on the balcony and chill a bit. Have a few beers and whatnot. I notice that C’s going to the bathroom a lot; I just figured she didn’t like the beer and was pouring it out. I dunno, weird girls I guess.
So the party thins out a little, we’re still on the porch and all of a sudden we hear a loud bang and then the sound of a dog crying. The car that hit the dog screeches away. H went running after and I just kinda leaned over the railing to see if I could see the dog and to see if it was hurt and tried not to cry. And this amazing girl puts her arms around me and tells me that it’s going to be ok.
I think at that exact moment I knew that I could love this girl. Compassion is something that is not easily faked. I guess you can say that I felt automatically comfortable in her arms.
I was very taken by her.
We decided to go inside at that point. The party died down to just us four.
I have this silly thing with cigarette smoke – if it’s not me smoking it bugs my eyes. So Heather and her then girlfriend are smoking like crazy and I decide that I need to go outside so I can actually see to drive home later.
I did not think that C would do anything but she managed to stumble her way out to follow me onto the porch. She put her arms around me and hugged me again. I’m not really into making the first move. But the next thing I know she’s staring me in the face. She smiled at me.
Now, if you’ve actually gotten this far in this blog and you know C then this part isn’t that shocking — C’s smile could honestly stop the moons rotation… its ridiculous actually…
Anyways, she described what she did as “diving in headfirst.” I’d describe it as the perfect kiss. If one could describe the perfect kiss in words, then you would know exactly how it felt. The thing that makes it more memorable to me is that I could feel the corners of her mouth smile. And it wasn’t in that awkward way where you kiss each others teeth. It was this full on, earth shattering moment in my life.
and I’ve never been happier in my life…
all for now
peace
funny lesbian-esque quotes..
well, some are lesbian/gay some are just cute and funny… deal with it… its my blog
Another Gay Movie:
Mom: You didn’t come home last night. What’s going on?
Nico: Mom, I think… I like guys.
Mom: …DUH!
Just the look on his mothers face… shes like… No shit moron
Bend it Like Beckham:
Lesbian? Her birthday’s in March. I thought she was a Pisces.
This movie has nothing to do with lesbianism, but the British mother thinks her daughter was in love with the main Hindi character… and they’re at a wedding during a confrontation. In most Indian cultures, lesbianism isn’t even a factor, it just doesn’t happen, so they really have no idea what’s going on
Better Than Chocolate:
You’re not bi-sexual, Carla – you’re omni-sexual! You’re like that tornado in the Wizard of Oz, sweeping up everything in your path.
She is… she really is…
Chasing Amy:
Good. Over here, we have a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian. Down here, we have a man-hating, angry as fuck, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. Over here, we got Santa Claus, and up here the Easter Bunny. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first?
Oh Binky… how I love thee…
Coyote Ugly:
Oh Violet, I’m not a lesbian. I played in the minors but never went pro.
I threw this in because I had a Coyote Ugly poster on my dorm room walls…and still demanding I didn’t like girls…yea, ok…
D.E.B.S.:
Miss Petrie: Are you kidding me? We conduct a nationwide manhunt for you and you’re boning the suspect? Did you think this was a joke? “Let’s divert federal resources and man hours so I can have my collegiate lesbian fling in style.”
I did as best I could to limit it to only three quotes…this defiantly made the cut
Lucy: Oww! Did you just snap my bra?
Amy: Er… no.
Lucy: Yeah, you did. That hasn’t happened to me since sixth grade.
Amy: I was trying to be smooth.
How cute is the relationship that they have in this movie… its so playful, I love it
Lucy: I didn’t even want to be a criminal. I wanted to be a pirate.
Amy: [laughs] Pirates are criminals.
Lucy: Oh. Whoops.
If you know me… u know I want to be a pirate…I love it
Election:
It’s not like I’m a lesbian or anything. I’m attracted to the person. It’s just that all the people I’ve been attracted to happen to be girls.
I think that’s what most of us told our parents
The Good Girl:
If I were a woman, I’d be a slut. A lesbian slut.
Ah, drunken ramblings of stupid stupid men…
Good Morning Vietnam:
The Mississippi River broke through a protective dike today. What is a protective dike? Is it a large woman that says “Don’t go near there! But Betty- Don’t go near there! Don’t go down by the river!”… No, we can’t say “dyke” on the air, we can’t even say “lesbian” anymore, it’s “women in comfortable shoes. Thank You.”
Robin Williams…you’re an interesting person…
Imagine Me & You:
Luce: You’re a wanker, number nine!
The second this line was said, C grabbed onto me and hugged me…I love this movie
Heck: Edie, are you gay?
Edie: Am I gay? [laughs]
Edie: I’m ecstatic!
I’m always a fan of the questions being dodged…
Heck: So, what about you? Are you married? Ever been married, ever going to get married?
Luce: No. No. Maybe now that the law’s changed.
Heck: How do you mean?
Luce: Well, I’m gay.
Heck: [chuckles, then realizes that it's not a joke] Mmm… well done.
He just looks very amused here…like there’s nothing cooler…
The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love
God, Evie, if you were going to turn gay you could’ve at least chosen someone pretty.
Ah, the mean “friends”
Lost and Delerious:
Lesbian? Lesbian? Are you fucking kidding me, you think I’m a LESBIAN?
Denial…it aint just a river man…
Reality Bites:
Do you ever wish you were a lesbian? Don’t you think it would be so much easier?
Yea, right, cause its soo much easier…dorks
Rent:
We’re sorry to hear that Maureen dumped you. I say c’est la vie. Let her be a lesbian! She doesn’t know what she’s missing!
Believe me, I love ya Mark, but she’s not missing too much
Under the Tuscan Sun:
Patti: There’s something strange about these trees. It’s like they know.
Frances: And they know that we know that they know.
Patti: They’re creepy. Creepy Italian trees. Of course, the baby’s going to like them cause it’s going to be a creepy Italian baby who goes around saying things like ‘Ciao mama’ and doing that weird backward hand wave thing. Life is strange.
This doesn’t have much to do with lesbians, other then the fact that Patti is a lesbian carrying a child with her ex-partner. It just amuses me
Waiting:
Monty: Ahh, you know Tyla, everytime I look at you I wish I was a lesbian.
Tyla: Oh what a coincidence. Everytime I look at you I’m glad I’m a lesbian.
This is how I feel everytime I get hit on by a guy… which has been a lot lately for some reason…oh well
all for now
peace
seriously, i dont care
So after initially feeling hurt over what my ex said, and feeling so mad at this person because i thought everything was ok, I’ve decided that i really really don’t care anymore
I’ve spent a lot of time on this stupid site saying I don’t care, but now I’ve officially given up caring about anything.
C and I were fighting over stupid shit and i realized that i have such a short fuse because this is the first time I’ve been away from home for like the holiday season. And this is the first time I can’t bitch and complain to my grandmother. I just want to be able to talk to her again and I can’t. Realizing this, I know I’m the reason for most of our fights because its a psychological thing where u “hurt the one you love just because they’re in arms reach away.” I hate myself for this because I feel like i am ruining our relationship. Hopefully she’ll read this and realize that i know I’m an asshole. But i dunno anymore
Anyways, I really liked having T here, we’re goofy and stupid like usual. One of the things he asked me was “whats this L Word thing?” Ok, I gave him a break because literally he was under something heavy the past few years, so I described it to him… I was shocked to know that someone hadn’t heard about it. I mean, even from the guy point of view – an hour show where girls make out and are naked sometimes… I’m surprised..
Anyway, i have a big interview tomorrow in sarasota, hopefully i don’t get lost and end up in miami and hopefully i get it…
Also, my mom called me today and asked to spell C’s last name…. which if u know, its really not that hard. So I said “why do u need to know?” it seems that mother dearest bought me and my girlfriend tickets home for Christmas because she wanted to make sure that we all made it home. She said “its not a Christmas present, its just that everyone needs to be home this year” So either something big is going to happen, or shes just being a normal mother. My cousin M had a new baby girl in November, so maybe its just to see the new baby. Her name is Sophia… what a great Italian name right?? yea, that was number 5 on my baby name list… preceded by Isabella (or actually, Bella) which was number 1 on my list and number 2 on my sister-in-law’s baby name list….
So the point of this blog is to remind me and to remind everyone else that would actually read this… I’m human, i make mistakes, I’m not proud of most of them, but now that I’ve found someone that is willing to take care of me, so long as i take care of her, I’m holding on for dear life, even when i push her away.
all for now
peace
oh no, oh yes
so i rented pulse among others and i just thought i’d let everyone in on quite a known fact that i didn’t realize until today.
FUTONS ARE UNCOMFORTABLE AS FUCK
especially when you dont have the futon open and your wrapped around your girlfriend who is a blanket thief.
remind me to buy a new couch if we stay here…
oh yea, and i just found out that sarah sahai, or carmen as every lesbian i know refers to her as, is quite possibly leaving the l word…. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….. ok, its just a show, its not real life….
yea, i know but its carmen…. dont take my carmen away…
damn… i need some sleep
all for now
peace
oh really now…
so i found out that I’ve been described as a wrong turn by one of my exs…. and its funny, because this ex was actually a nice person and i thought we were ok… i guessed wrong…
remind me again never to trust anyone, because even the people that you thought it was ok to trust, even after years of knowing someone, its just a waste of time, and they’ll bad mouth you or let you down in some way…
i get that some exs are bitter, hell i hate most of my exs… but there was a few of them that i still cared about, T for example, is still the coolest kid I’ll ever know, he’s wicked set in his music ways and wont let people make fun of him for the appletini thing… yea, i dunno either…
oh well, i guess…. screw em
all for now
peace
