the dresses

Ask around… when I wear a dress it’s a big deal. So the fact that I found two in one day… it’s kind of a miracle.

Anyway, this is what I ended up with :)

and

Now I just have to get them hemmed because I’m way too short for them.

But yeah… that’s what we’re looking at right now lol

all for now

peace

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Movie Review: How I Spent My Summer Vacation / Get The Gringo

It would seem these days that we judge celebrities more on the scandal they are causing rather than the talent (if any) which got earned them their celebrity status to begin with. This currently seems to be very much the case for Mel Gibson, the former Hollywood golden boy whose volatile temperament and less than advisable comments regarding anyone who goes against his questionable world views. Still Gibson is still and for the most part of his career has always been a highly watchable actor and it’s something he has clearly set out to remind us of once more here.

Opening with Driver (or atleast that’s what we assume his name to be especially as it’s only revealed in the credits) driving full speed towards the Mexican border, a dufflebag of cash and a clown dying of a gunshot wound in the backseat, as the gruff voice over of Driver suddenly kicking in to bring us up to speed, while confirming that we are not just watching the latest Gibson scandal.

After failing to Evel Knievel his car into Mexico, he now finds himself captured by the corrupt Mexican authorities, more than happy to relieve him of his loot, while also throwing him in a prison. Meanwhile mob boss Frank (Peter Stormare) is hot on his tail and willing to do anything to reclaim the loot for himself. Playing almost like a spiritual sequel to “Payback” Driver like Porter is a man who starts out with nothing, but soon manages to find a way to get exactly he needs, which is certainly made a lot easier by the prison he is sent to. Looking more like a replica of Tijuana’s El Pueblito and as such looks more like a slum than anything resembling the traditional idea of a prison, especially with the convicts being allowed to set up their own society within the walls of the prison complete with shops, restaurants and even a smack hut, as they provide a trade for everything the local population might need. Needless to say it’s only a matter of time before Driver has the prison sized up and is soon making plans to escape, by getting in with the prisons top dog Javi (Daniel Gimenez Cacho), while picking up an unlikely sidekick with an unnamed 10 year old (Kevin Hernandez) who while continually adding to his nicotine addiction is also plotting his own revenge against Javi.

A prison break slash revenge thriller, this film is hard to place in any one category, especially with the script playing loose and fast with the genre conventions, as Driver double crosses and blasts all who stand in his way, though compared to some of the criminal element in this prison he still seems almost saintly in comparison. Needless to say the plot plays out like a pulp crime novel, with the occasional burst of violence to shake things up.

Still if anything it has to be said that it is nice to see Gibson back to the sort of badass role which gave him his acting break to begin with and unquestionably the roles for which he is best remembered and it’s perhaps because of the current scandals which surround his name and in turn any mainstream project he is attached to, that Gibson has chosen to make a film which will appeal more to his core fanbase, who remember him more fondly for the likes of “Mad Max” and “Lethal Weapon”, than some of his more forgettable projects. To ensure maximum control Gibson also wrote and produced the film, while also promoting his assistant director of choice Adrain Grunberg whom he previous worked with on both “Apocalypto” and “Edge of Darkness” to the directors chair. As a result this has all the feel of being a pet project for Gibson, especially with the lead role only being designed to emphasise all of the qualities which made him so popular as an actor to begin with such as his mad blue eyes and effortless charisma.

For his first feature Grunberg shows great confidence in the director’s chair as he is clearly aiming for breathless dynamism, while painting the film in hot reds and oranges and ensuring that the sense of danger is never far away. However were the film really comes into its own is with it’s action sequences from it’s opening high speed car chase shot using old school effects to the slow motion prison shootout, which see’s Grunberg drawing inspiration from finale of Sam Peckinpah’s “The Wild Bunch”, as he ensures that each bullet wound and explosion is enjoyed to its fullest.

The supporting cast are all fun in their various roles with Hernandez getting the smart ass balance just right, so that he doesn’t become yet another annoying smartass teen and provides a suitable if slightly random sidekick. Meanwhile the Stormare is in his usual drug snorting criminal role and sadly doesn’t get a huge amount of screentime, but is still fun pulling out his usual performance for this kind of role, which he has spent most of his career playing. Cacho however it could be argued is far from the most threatening of bad guys, especially when he uses his henchmen to enforce his will on the other inmates as he lounges around in his bathrobe, but when it comes to playing the system he proves a worthy opponent to someone like Driver, especially with so many games being played, while convincingly also pulling off his much darker side.

Sadly with Gibson’s popularity being on a downward spiral it is set to be released via Video On Demand under the title “Get The Driver”, while his international fans will get to enjoy it in the cinema under its international title “How I Spent My Summer Vacation”. Still with a role in the forthcoming “Machete Kills” it would seem that this might not quite be the swansong to Gibson’s career which many critics have already begun to hail it as.

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The Unforeseen Consequences of Roller Derby

This started out as a funny conversation between myself and a friend. Then it turned into a post (like most things in my life)

Here’s what she has to say:

During fresh meat session the veterans of my league warned me about the unusual side effects of the sport, like the two-day gap before your legs seize up after endurance drills, explaining you have not been in a horrific accident when a co-worker sees the bruises from scrimmage on friday and the noxious concoction brewed by knee-sweat and neoprene. A few I discovered on my own, but No one warned me about this one.

Between derby and a degree my love life has taken a back seat so when I got a chance for lunch date with the boy, thanks to a dodgy lightbulb out of my reach, I jumped on it. So we get to the really fun bit and I discovered in the last few months working on my plough-stops I have developed muscles in unusual places. By putting a vulcan death grip on his manhood.

So mortified by my “vice like” (his words) lady regions I had to ask. Is this normal?

I didn’t have this problem, but I had the problem of having thighs so big I’d have to wear 3 sizes bigger then what fit my waist… which isn’t cute.

Did anyone else have any issues like this? Let us know :)

all for now

peace

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Sex Toy Review – Babeland Edible Body Chocolate

Time to move the kids into another room, hide the computer screen from your parents and don’t let your significant other see your browser history… this is a sex toy review.

This is a no holds barred type of post, so if you aren’t comfortable reading it, then don’t continue reading.

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……dislike

Well, the consensus is in, and for the time being – no derby for me.  Not just no derby, but no running, no biking, I can skate but with no contact and without make any sudden postural changes (so no drills).  I can only do a modified sit up.  I have yet to ask about planks and jump rope, but I wouldn’t be surprised if those are out as well.

Please, dear whoever let this heal quickly.  I thought not skating was hard.  Not being able to do pretty much anything?  Well, I want to cry.  I’m trying to stay positive, it can be really difficult, though.   It’s difficult to put on my socks and shoes in the morning, my house is a mess, my dog hasn’t been walked in I’m not even sure how long, and I’m gaining weight.

Since I can’t concentrate on anything physical, I’m opting to take this time to truly focus on my diet.  I’m looking into this at the moment.  A friend had the book, so I’m reading over it today and seeing how I feel about it.  I’ve also been trying to stick to this.  I’m not sure about the science behind it, but I figure if all it does is distract me from the cravings…..hey, that’s something.

I’m also currently reading this article, which may, in fact, be part of my issue – what with the derby, full time (sometimes more than) job, and full time school.

I’ve been eating horribly since I’ve been depressed about my back.  Doesn’t really help the situation, I know.  I keep asking myself why my answer for everything is food.  I haven’t come up with a compelling reason yet, but there it is.  Eat when I’m stressed, eat when I’m happy, eat when I’m tired.  I think in the last couple years it became my coping mechanism.  It didn’t used to be that way, I think I may have picked it up from the hubby, but there it is.  I guess it’s time to try and find a new coping mechanism.  Since I can’t currently work out, I’m not even sure where to turn.  I know a lot of people suggest meditation, but that one is really hard for me.

I’m trying really hard not to be frustrated, not to push myself into hurting myself further, to have patience.  Yup, I still suck at patience.

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Ask Elle…I dare you!

original

I’m the ultimate epitome of the reluctant “advice giver.”  Hell, I often wonder why people even ask for my advice on anything to begin with because I’m not always sympathetic, especially when a big load of “WTF?” gets dropped at my feet like a diarrhea afflicted puppy dragging its ass all over my freshly cleaned carpet. Okay, that was a gross analogy but you get me right? I can just tell…you get me!

So, a few years ago I decided to write a little ditty about why people push others away and all that jazz, never thinking anyone would read it or even comment. Boy, was I wrong! Here it is if you want to see the harsh reality of human nature in all of its gloriously misspelled, grammatically incorrect splendour.

http://elleasku.hubpages.com/hub/Do-you-unintentionally-push-people-away-A-cautionary-tale-about-being-unique-in-a-beige-world#comment-8191435

To this day I still get e-mails begging for help and overly long-winded comments that read like sad, pathetic pages from some 12 year-old girl’s diary. At first I diligently answered each request for ”help” in a thoughtful manner (really, I did) but as more and more poured in I started to realize that no one was actually utilizing the wise words of truth I was imparting. Screw you, ya assbags! My experienced words had great value yet the majority of the eyes I was laying them out before were blind. Blinded by anger, blinded by self-pity and most of all, blinded by an inability to own up to their own part in their miserable life story. “Always the victim” unable (unwilling) to change was the tale they wailed even after I pointed out the need to look inward and honor their duty to love themselves enough to stop putting up with bullshit from both themselves and others. If you say you want to change then DO IT asshole! Don’t say, “Easier said than done” or any other dumbass thing that just makes me want to scream at you through the computer screen, “WHY DID YOU ASK THEN?”

Oh, that's why...

Of course there were some that I was gentle with because I didn’t want to be responsible for any “ledge” moments but the majority truly depressed me with their shallow, pessimistic, let’s tighten the boo-hoo noose, attitudes. I used to be like that but then…I GOT THE FUCK OVER MYSELF! There are so many people out there with actual REAL problems like starvation, daily oppression and genocide that the superficial pity party thing gets old pretty fast and, quite frankly, smacks of spoiled entitlement. So, why do certain advice seekers lay their soul out there begging for guidance in their sadly posted tale of woe yet then turn around and ignore solid tips on how to improve their supposed shitty lot in life you ask? Because no one wants to be told they attract shit because, and get how easy this comes out: you feel like you are shit and deserve shit inside! Somewhere along the line a big fatty got told (I ain’t talking about a “rolled” one but a told one) and the person doing the telling was way down in the Shit Well themselves. Remember how that bitch Misery loves company? Well, she banged the hell out of your door for days, months and years and even though your brain said, “No! Don’t let that whore in, she’s just going to piss on your confidence parade,” you felt sorry for her. Once inside she flopped her disease ridden cooch on your once pristine couch and there she’s been ever since. Give that twat her marching orders pronto!

I have always been of the school of thought that once you decided shit was going to go down differently then IT DID, BOOM. There was no doing it tomorrow or next week, you did it NOW because the alternative wasn’t working and never would. Get that point right there people: If it ain’t working today, it ain’t working tomorrow or ever so do something different. Novel thought right? If everything is always fucked up after doing the same things over and over, ad nauseam then take a new route Sherlock! Again, Boom!

So take it bitch!

So, here is where we part, still a little riled up with one another but actually thinking, “Yeah, this is me and I need to get my malfunction adjusted before I attract a serial killer or…a politician.” Can’t have that, no we can’t so just this once, pull your head out of your ass and listen before it’s too late. You deserve the best and honey that waste of skin ain’t it. Raise the bar, wipe the slate clean, change your sheets, get a new wardrobe, job, hairdo, whatever, just do the opposite of everything you’ve ever done in the past because you’re worth it!

 

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