I’m the ultimate epitome of the reluctant “advice giver.” Hell, I often wonder why people even ask for my advice on anything to begin with because I’m not always sympathetic, especially when a big load of “WTF?” gets dropped at my feet like a diarrhea afflicted puppy dragging its ass all over my freshly cleaned carpet. Okay, that was a gross analogy but you get me right? I can just tell…you get me!
So, a few years ago I decided to write a little ditty about why people push others away and all that jazz, never thinking anyone would read it or even comment. Boy, was I wrong! Here it is if you want to see the harsh reality of human nature in all of its gloriously misspelled, grammatically incorrect splendour.
http://elleasku.hubpages.com/hub/Do-you-unintentionally-push-people-away-A-cautionary-tale-about-being-unique-in-a-beige-world#comment-8191435
To this day I still get e-mails begging for help and overly long-winded comments that read like sad, pathetic pages from some 12 year-old girl’s diary. At first I diligently answered each request for ”help” in a thoughtful manner (really, I did) but as more and more poured in I started to realize that no one was actually utilizing the wise words of truth I was imparting. Screw you, ya assbags! My experienced words had great value yet the majority of the eyes I was laying them out before were blind. Blinded by anger, blinded by self-pity and most of all, blinded by an inability to own up to their own part in their miserable life story. “Always the victim” unable (unwilling) to change was the tale they wailed even after I pointed out the need to look inward and honor their duty to love themselves enough to stop putting up with bullshit from both themselves and others. If you say you want to change then DO IT asshole! Don’t say, “Easier said than done” or any other dumbass thing that just makes me want to scream at you through the computer screen, “WHY DID YOU ASK THEN?”

Oh, that's why...
Of course there were some that I was gentle with because I didn’t want to be responsible for any “ledge” moments but the majority truly depressed me with their shallow, pessimistic, let’s tighten the boo-hoo noose, attitudes. I used to be like that but then…I GOT THE FUCK OVER MYSELF! There are so many people out there with actual REAL problems like starvation, daily oppression and genocide that the superficial pity party thing gets old pretty fast and, quite frankly, smacks of spoiled entitlement. So, why do certain advice seekers lay their soul out there begging for guidance in their sadly posted tale of woe yet then turn around and ignore solid tips on how to improve their supposed shitty lot in life you ask? Because no one wants to be told they attract shit because, and get how easy this comes out: you feel like you are shit and deserve shit inside! Somewhere along the line a big fatty got told (I ain’t talking about a “rolled” one but a told one) and the person doing the telling was way down in the Shit Well themselves. Remember how that bitch Misery loves company? Well, she banged the hell out of your door for days, months and years and even though your brain said, “No! Don’t let that whore in, she’s just going to piss on your confidence parade,” you felt sorry for her. Once inside she flopped her disease ridden cooch on your once pristine couch and there she’s been ever since. Give that twat her marching orders pronto!
I have always been of the school of thought that once you decided shit was going to go down differently then IT DID, BOOM. There was no doing it tomorrow or next week, you did it NOW because the alternative wasn’t working and never would. Get that point right there people: If it ain’t working today, it ain’t working tomorrow or ever so do something different. Novel thought right? If everything is always fucked up after doing the same things over and over, ad nauseam then take a new route Sherlock! Again, Boom!

So take it bitch!
So, here is where we part, still a little riled up with one another but actually thinking, “Yeah, this is me and I need to get my malfunction adjusted before I attract a serial killer or…a politician.” Can’t have that, no we can’t so just this once, pull your head out of your ass and listen before it’s too late. You deserve the best and honey that waste of skin ain’t it. Raise the bar, wipe the slate clean, change your sheets, get a new wardrobe, job, hairdo, whatever, just do the opposite of everything you’ve ever done in the past because you’re worth it!
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