16 Feb 2012
Posted by Boots 
2 Comments People say you shouldn’t care about what other people think about you. I disagree with this statement. You definitely shouldn’t care about what the wrong people think about you, but sometimes you should care about what people think about you, ore more specifically, your behavior.
We surround ourselves with people we care about. Often we care about them because we have something in common with them. The people closest to us usually share our morals and our values. If I am trying to make a decision about something, and I’m trying to decide whether the decision is a good one, or selfish (in a bad way, one can be selfish in a good way), or just plain dumb, I call my bestie. I know, without a doubt, that she will tell me if I’m being an idiot.
She may not come straight out and say “you’re being an idiot” (ok, if it was really stupid, she totally would), but she’ll find a way to let me know she doesn’t agree with what I’m doing. The thing with this is, she’s someone I have a ton of respect and admiration for. If she tells me I’m being stupid, it’s probably because I’m being stupid. She shares my morals and values, and it’s one of the reasons I love her.
It hasn’t been very often that she’s had to do this, and I can’t really think of ever, but I still call her if I’m ever not sure about something. I care what she thinks. If she told me I was doing something stupid, I would listen. If she tells me I’m doing something stupid, it’s something I know I would regret at some point. Also, she has some serious fashion sense.
If we’ve surrounded ourselves with people who mirror our values and morals, and they think we’re doing something wrong, we absolutely should listen. Life lived by emotions is ugly and messy. Life lived by morals and values leaves little regret. Does this mean never listen to emotion? No way. Emotions are an excellent warning system. Sometimes, however, they’re just emotions. I believe in viewing my emotions through my morals and values, and allowing the latter to make my decision.
I care what the people I care about think of what I’m doing. I realized that if they think I’m doing something wrong, I will end up regretting and I should just save myself the trouble.
If you have surrounded yourself with people who do not share your morals and values, perhaps this is something to think about. We all are self serving sometimes, and it’s really great to have people in your life to help be your compass.
Darby, thanks for being awesome. I can’t wait to see you next month.
2 Comments
I agree. Certainly it’s important what the important people in your life think of you. Part of living a good life is being a good person to others, and part of that is making them feel good about themselves. Even if people decide they don’t like you, it’s definitely important that you at least give them a reason to.
I really don’t think about what other people think about me. sometimes I know I’ve effed up and then I try to think about how I effed up and not to do it again. We can’t waste time thinking about what others think of us. It’s spending too much energy we can spend on other stuff. But if you have a friend who catches you and calls you out on your ish, amen.